We live in a world where perfection is praised and admired, the world doesn't forgive our mistakes and often crucifies us for doing the wrong thing or saying. The life you live must only look like success, the society doesn't excuse failure. In a world that can often feel like your living under the microscopic view it can often lead to anxiety of feeling you can't achieve, feeling that your wins aren't even worth celebrating because someone else looks like they are doing better, observing others having what you have always desired can lead you to feel defeated and worse yet is seeing others looking like they have everything figured out and they truly have got it together.
Lately, I truly feel this growth of comparison has been compounded by us going through a global pandemic because there is a clear division that not everyone is being affected as you would expect them to be. I have come across stories of people who are dying by suicide and honestly there is often no death that hits like one of suicide, it leaves loved ones wishing they had done more. I asked myself what I tools can I share to work at being better at being focused on own's journey than another's. So below are three thought provoking reasons that can be a great guide in teaching you to avoid comparison and focusing on your personal journey.
1. Don't compare your journey with someone's highlights
A lot of us see someone's best bits and that affects our mood and leads us to feel like non-achievers but no one of us stop to think that we are none the wiser of what it took for that person to achieve what we admire of them so much. We never even stop to think that had we known what it took to achieve what you're admiring you wouldn't be willing to put in the same effort they did or perhaps what they've had to do to get what they have isn't agreeable with your personal principles.
In reality we only ever admire the end result but fail to realise there has been certain steps that they had to take and at times that journey may have even taken them a period of time or they may have lost what was valuable and that was what pushed them to pursue the goals you admire and wish to be that of your own.
What we see of others journey are the best bits but the uncut version is intertwined with a challenging journey to success. You are the only one who will ever know what it takes to achieve and so it is better to use your time building on your own goals than wasting watching others achieve theirs.
2. Growth and success happens in different time zones
The world will never share the same time zone and so it would be crazy for you to think that our success and achievements can therefore be experienced at the same time. To see another achieve now should not determine you not been able to attain your own achievement at your own time. It is important to remember just as one country is experiencing sunset doesn't mean that another country won't have their own sunset either, it just means they will have to wait for their time to come. This same notion applies to our own personal growth and successful seasons, your time is coming.
3. Trust and embrace the process
Life's challenges are there for development purposes and the quicker you learn to trust and embrace the process the easier it to learn to embrace those moments that you encounter and their purpose has been to shape, break and mould you to be the suitable individual worthy of the achievement you desire. This is of course is easy to say but harder to do and master, however what helps is taking time to look back at past achievements and reflecting on the experiences and encounters endured before success was your reward. Doing so makes you realise that it is true what they say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and if the end has not arrived that means your story is still being told. So hang in there sister!
If you're feeling overwhelmed we recommend you seek professional help where you can speak to someone who is objective about the challenges that you're experiencing and the thoughts that are affecting your ability to move forward. If unable to afford professional help identify an individual/s who can offer you the safe space to help you work things through your challenges and thoughts.
Lastly, we want to remind you that everything you need is within you and what is you to do, you can do! Find the power in you fight of fears, self-doubt and anxiety as they will often rob you of your joy, your ability to achieve and think positively.