I recently saw this Twitter thread by @Lungile_ who asked the ladies to share when they realised they need to be done with the man they were dating. The responses from what women shared, some although funny in reality it is quite horrendous what women tolerate. Honestly, as I kept scrolling I was both shocked and disheartened, and I put together a list of characteristics we need to be on the look out for when dating, that if you see them immediately don't even stick around, just be out!
So without further adieu here are the top seven reasons why you should dump him:
1. How he treats others and especially his mother
When you go out together pay keen attention on not only how he treats you but also those that he interacts with in your presence from a stranger, a waiter, a cashier to his friends. However, what is also important to note is the relationship with his mother, if you're lucky enough to witness how he treats her even better, but if not learn to observe how he talks about her and how he describes their relationship. More often than not how he is with his mother and how he treats others will affect how he will in the long run treat you too.
2. Sketchy communication
One of the most common reasons most people will cite their reasons for breaking up, communication will be right there at the top. If how you used to communicate has changed whereby the calls, the texts and the meet ups have reduced then that is just a sign he is distracted and not to say there is someone else in the picture but it just means if your looking to be his priority then the truth right now he is treating you like an option that he wants when convenient for him. You're not a toy to be played with, so if his communication doesn't match what you desire in a partner don't wait for it to improve because it may never happen. Keep it moving and find one who already matches your vibe.
3. Giving pleasure is not balanced
If you're sexually involved with your partner it is important to observe whether as much as you cater to his needs, is this reciprocated willingly or is it a case of you always asking or they are ok with you pleasuring them but not at all willing to do anything that will make you feel sexually pleased. If that's the case you will end up feeling resentment towards them and honestly this could lead you to straying as a result. Sexual pleasure has to be balanced, if it isn't, just be out and get you one who matches your energy in the bedroom!
4. If he keeps borrowing money
Every once in a while we will need to borrow money here and there but if this is happening really early on in the relationship then this is one big red flag and it's even worse if he is not paying you back. This is could be sign he is not good with his money or he is in a really bad financial fix, and if your dating trust me when I say this will soon be your problem too. Be wise and run all the way away!
5. Cleanliness
This applies to how one looks after himself and his possessions this could be, his car and his house to should it apply. What you need to observe is whether he changes his boxers? Wash everyday? Does his breathe smell? Does his house look like he has been robbed because it is so messy? If you find you always have to clean up after him or his odour ain't so fresh, that is definitely a problem you should not have to be dealing with, like ever!
6. Clingy / Obsessive Behaviour
If you find that he always wants to be with you, never wants you to leave or never wants to leave yours, wants to know what you're doing and who you're with? This are signs of a person who will soon want to possess you and this can lead to a very toxic relationship. It is good that he wants to spend time with you but you both must have your own lives as individuals. Not being able to breathe in a relationship is detrimental for the both of you.
7. Hot & Cold Personality
If his personality is constantly changing one minute he is kind and pleasant and the next his angry and somewhat portraying violence tendencies, this could be an indication he perhaps has bipolar disorder and relating with an individual who has this condition will not only affect you mentally but emotionally too and this can trickle down to it affecting your physical being. If this aspect of his personality is constant, means the longer you date the worse it will become and who's to say it might not lead to physical violence. Be alert and make the right choice for you.
Relating with another will always be challenging and honestly there is no right formula of what makes a relationship ultimately work, however what will save you from experiencing unnecessary sorrow is learning to pay attention to the red signals and what your gut is telling you earlier on, and acting accordingly as opposed to waiting for things to get better.
We wish you all the best in your dating journey and trust you'll act wisely, and in the end life will bless you with the ordained suitor for you!