Honestly sis it's still a new year and you cannot find yourself in the same meaningless relationship that seems to be bringing you more down than up and adding to your misery than your joy. The time has come when you're better off exiting your relationship than staying in it. We have identified four red flags that will give you the valid reason you've been looking for.
1. Not making you a priority
I love this saying if you treat me like a choice i will leave you like an option. I dated this guy once and when we first met he told me how he wasn't someone who enjoyed calling or texting but with me he just couldn't help himself. I am not going to lie when he said that i felt really giddy and special, but months later the novelty changed he was communicating less and less, taking longer to respond and at times just not responding or making excuses as to why he has been quiet. And i remember calling him out for his behaviour and hearing yet another stupid excuse for the lack of his communication, that is when I knew this was the end for me.
I have learned one thing in my relationship journey is that you can never be so busy to make time for someone you care for and when that changes, and it is not resolved with improvement of better communication, that should be all the signal you need that you are not their priority and nor should you make them yours because only you will get hurt in the end. So again I remind you, leave him like an option when he treats you like a choice.
2.Continues to do the things that he knows make you unhappy
If you're in a happy and healthy relationship the aim will always be to add to that person's peace and joy rather than being their problem and disturbance to their peace. If you have communicated your needs, fears and dislikes but the person your dating continually does the things they know will rattle your feathers, then sis you're in a relationship where respect is lacking and where there is no respect they can never be love.
When dating, the idea should be with someone who adds positively to your way of living more than he adds negatively to it. If it is the opposite, then sis he got's to go!
3. He disappears and reappears in your life at his convenience
When a person treats you as if you're a revolving door that is the ultimate disrespect because they will be in your life and you'll have an amazing time with them and build on a great connection and then with no warning they will disappear with zero communication and then when it suits them reappear in your life as if they had never left. This can really take you on an emotional and mental rollercoaster, and you need to pay attention to such behaviours, especially when you also don't get the explanation you deserve.
As Maya Angelou once said that when people show you who they are believe them, this behaviour will keep showing up and worse yet you can experience this while you're living with them. So I truly encourage you to shut the door in this relationship as it will not be a positive contribution in your life.
4. He masks his bad behaviour with gifts
This is a typical narcissistic trait and one you need to completely run away from. This bad behaviour can be being talked to aggressively, someone reacting violently physically and/or tormenting you with emotional and mental abuse but after the moment has passed they come to their senses and you'll find them smothering you with gestures and gifts as part of their apology. However his aggressive and violent traits will continue and if you continue to enable it then he will know how best to manipulate you and ensure that you remain reliant of him of which he will be sure to portray himself as the only person who can play that role in your life.
If you consistently see this kind of behaviour seek help if unable to pull away from this relationship because you might need to ensure you safely exit the relationship. Seek local authorities help or family/friends support. A relationship where safety is a worry that is a sure sign that you are in unhealthy union, and if you're not careful it could even lead to your death.
If you're internal instincts are warning you it is time to exit the relationship, please adhere to the spirit because if you don't the consequences for staying are often far worse.